Dust Covered Carpet (2012) witness me pass out

Dust Covered Carpet
(2012) witness me pass out
i can’t go on like this one more day there’s a decision i should
make • about to give up all secureness • or keep it and act till i
believe i’m safe • i did things i’m so ashamed of but can’t guarantee i won’t do the same again • ‘cause after all i’m still in love
with my addiction • the anti social part of my riven name •
and if i want myself happy i better make trouble again • ‘cause
when i’m drunk and i sleepwalk i do things i’m ashamed of •
wake up and throw up and sneak out of my flat share • and i
walk till my feet hurt and pains teach me ‘bout bodyparts • and
i’m close to collapse can’t stop shaking my head • then i need to
find a melody and a few words to not panic • and give birth to a
song that i like and hold on to • and i reproduce that unsafe part
of me • and with shame as an urge and distain of the code i keep
pacing on my knees • and with a cramp in my gullet and a hole
in my stomach and a weight on my lungs i shiver • and i vomit
an answer but can’t remember any question • and i insecure
my mind all by myself
Passing out syllabified
i’m injured i’m ill • i’m dirty i’m hopeless • i’m drunk every
day ‘cause i don’t wanna think • i hide under my bed and the
monster’s my friend • and we’re tired of falling asleep • it’s the
secrets of the future and forgetting of the past • mixed together
make fuel for my engine to run • but the money it takes to hold
a bareable life • keeps me from using a seatbelt • it is talking
‘bout everything and knowing ‘bout nothing • feeling something thinking my head off • i’m alone next to people and i’m
too many myself • pigs eat pigs eat pigs eat pigs • syllabified
mind corners or shadows and roses of sharon as pills • pupils
turn wide soon i will pass out • a chalkboard a warfield a bloodshed a frequence so high it’s hurting deep in my teeth • windows stare at me • witness me pass out • open my mouth put
my words back in order and rifle my bag for some ink • open
my eyes put black drops on white dots • i’ll return home to my
Achingly honest
gotta leave before i’m achingly honest again • i keep quiet i torture myself when it comes to controversy with someone i don’t
care about • but my dearest ones shouldn’t be fools shouldn’t
have a view i can’t hold in the slightest • i’m as stupid as them
plus i’m angry and i’m a calculating know it all • and because
you’re important to me and i’m sorry this may hurt but we have
to share everything and if you don’t think so we should end
whatever we used to be • and if this was what i wanted it would
be untopably great but it isn’t i’m horrible • now this has to be
loud and it has to be fast and i have to be much more intense • i
decided i won’t live another life i’ll give this one a 90 percent • I
keep smashing my teeth against microphones and each time it
clanks • soon they’ll burst to dry taste on my careless tongue •
and bright splints and dark thoughts paint grey speeches i wail
along • and i go on • and if this is what i wanted it would be
untopably great but it isn’t i’m horrible
I let myself go
this couch breaks my spine • but i can’t leave it i’m encased •
for hours or days • i wollow in abasement • aching for a fresh
wind • a foresight not that dark • a demeanor not that hard
those shoes wound my heel • but i can’t return to my flat it is
cursed • so i walk and i walk • and the further i move the less
i look up • in fear that things i like may end • due to my mistakes • stagnancy urges for change • i let myself go • i’ll expire
Expiring dates
expiring dates scotch hopes and aims • and grow a mind so
cagey or ignorant or both • searching for a way out • i’m too
tired now to walk • and way too deep inside reality to believe in
good • i found my favorite things living a misfit being • wasting
my so or so useless life • necessarily filled pessimist • with a
shrug of my shoulder • through promised incidents • now put
one hand on my wound • and the other one on my head • and
lie with a smile • as if it is not yet a decision • the big letting go
• a hyperbolic dark vision • and say i’m not hurt • ‘cause there’s
no inbetween those two extremes • and i need to change my
aim to stand the pain • i still see there’s love • but it won’t be
enough • when it all goes through change • it all goes to change
• peter pan in panic • may all beauty simply vanish • and your
mind drowns in deep fear • just go to sleep
Dating my faintness
with the springs winds and other gifts • backward’s how i drift
• slowly downstairs to heavy thoughts i cannot choose • i do
my best to also bloom • inside a lightless dirty room • without one single drop of healthy consciousness that i could use
• against the fear of too bright lights • too many people or
sleepless nights • weak lungs and poisoned stomaches • there’s
crazy ways my mind reacts • i’ve got no mask for my mask’s
mask to hide my face • i can’t get used to being this confused •
dizzy walking crowded ways • and i can’t get rid of this cup of
daily poison in my hand • it’s about time i’ve got to drop whatever fills my throat with sand • i’m dating my faintness • at the
shivering corner • and we’re dandering a few steps in safe distance to the pavement • i’m shrouded in panic • and i forgot
my medication • and i’m tumbling a few steps in safe distance
to the pavement • the hammer fails the nail • and hits a hole
into the wall • my neighbor’s flat is tidy and clean but it seems
like there’s no life at all • and i can’t get rid of this cup of daily
poison in my hand • so i’ll have drop for drop for drop • for drop
for drop for drop for drop
Fragile soul / Heavy heart
a rooftop above concrete • or a cliff above the shore • or an
accident on the street when i’m dizzy • or nothing combined
with a crash • but a razorblade in silent white warmth • drop
for drop i fall asleep • you said you will join me • you promised that night on the floor • and i’ll join you if you wanna leave
earlier • let’s move in together make music get drunk and be
scared • i carry your fragile soul and you hold my heavy heart
• do you know what to wear when you die cause i won’t wear
something special • i’m so proud of our friendship and i’m so
glad that i met you • they bury our heavy hearts and we lift our
fragile souls
I’ll find rest
take my thoughts take my health give me wine • take my time
take my voice give me dirt • i’ll find rest i know places and you
won’t be there • i’ll grieve and i’ll come back with more • it is
the twitching of my left eye • and the throbbing in my right ear •
this kind of living makes me nervous • i carved my path against
the wall • but i’ll find rest behind a curtain and you won’t be
there • i’ll lie there and i’ll come back for more • ‘cause as long
as i wake up dirty a few times a week • and there’s cables and
guitar strings i’m tangled in • i held my holy distance towards
what i don’t want to be • transform those awkward things you
did into poetry • color your darkest memories with carelessness • and execrate and overexert when you proclaim your discontents • deviate your stormy brain escape into excess again •
and sleep when you feel overstrained and spiritless • sigh when
you are overwhelmed by endless black • and execrate and overexert when you proclaim your discontents • you will find rest
Because gravity overpowers me
the pulse through my body keeps me swaying silently as i apologize for wrecking it inevitably • my vitals my conscience and
my financial condition checkless pressed against my poor belly
and my head • and the stories i sold are not half as big as told
and my few close friends are ashamed and disgusted of and by
what i did • i can’t remember anything is this way my youth
should end • agreeing i was wrong when all those assholes said
i am a clown a waste of life a minority to die • i’m still proud i
kept my track but i can’t stop shaking my head • after the impact on the ground i stood up just upside down • so who’s the
shadow now asked my new me centuring its crown • it ate its
copy’s face revealed last breaths opening my chest • opposed
me to my fears and feet on feet we started slaughtering, burning, burying, slaughtering
Whale of my kind
restrained and weary i hold my secret demeanor inside my
pockets eating my grey vienna • it seems like i am through killing one half of myself • but honestly i won’t give up until i see
a whale of my kind • a heavy-hearted friend singing in the dark
• with those very sad eyes and both of them closed • sighing at
the viewless way to go • and hopefully i will find you inbetween
the surface and hell • i am coming to you • all the way down to
you • and once i found you i’ll leave everything • won’t make it
up to breathe ever again
dust covered carpet are:
magdalena adamski (vocals, cello, harmonium)
armin buchgraber (vocals, drums, guitars)
volker buchgraber (vocals, guitars, trumpet,
glockenspiel, xylophone, percussion)
dominik hartl (vocals, bass, clarinet, synthbass)
julia luiki (vocals, violin, harmonium)
katharina pfiel (vocals, clarinet, accordion,
harmonium, transverse flute, xylophone, percussion)
guest musicians on the album:
veronika adamski (violin on 1)
stephan leeb (trombone on 7)
dino spiluttini (guitar overdubs on 2, claps on 10)
dust covered carpet recorded this album in the rehearsal
room of the local choir in tap, hungary as well as in volker’s flat
in vienna, austria in summer 2011.
all songs written by volker buchgraber, arrangements by
volker buchgraber and dust covered carpet.
mixed by dino spiluttini at beatismurder studio 3.0, hamburg.
mastered by alan douches at west west side music, new york.
artwork photography by julia luiki and dominik hartl.
graphic design by martin embacher.