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Listen and Act
Children have the right to be cared for and
protected. Save the Children has therefore
developed material for children to know their
rights - and for child rights and frontline workers
to know about child development and how to
encourage, care for and protect children.
LISTENING
LEARNING
ACTING
6)/,%.#%)3./4/+
3 DO support your friend,
3DO learn about your rights.You have a right
8 DON’T
who is being treated badly and
encourage them to seek help
to be protected against:
• People treating you badly because of your caste,
colour, religion, disability or for any other reason
• People hitting you and hurting your body
• People abusing you sexually
• People saying hurtful things to you
keep frightening and troublesome
secrets inside yourself. Ask for help from
someone you know and trust
3DO work together with your friends
and teachers to make your school a safe,
child-friendly place to learn and play
3DO respect
2
8 DON’T ever go off with
adults you don’t know –
whatever they may promise you
the rights of
other children
3DO
share worries with a person you
know and trust – a parent, relative,
teacher or friend
3DO join with other children to
1
help your families and communities
to learn about children’s rights
n
to violence against childre
Preventing and responding
in homes and communities
3
8 DON’T bully or be
unkind to other children –
they have the same rights
as you to be protected
6
4
2
5
1 Do’s and Dont’s
for all ages
This is a package of
three posters. One
is intended to provide
adults with the do’s
and don’ts for
protecting children
and respecting their
rights. The remaining
two posters send the
message to children
that violence is not
ok, and provides them
with practical do’s
and don’ts for dealing
with violence.
download
2 Listen, Learning
and Acting
Staff in Save the
Children and child
rights workers wanting
to know more about
relevant measures to
protect children will
benefit from reading
and using this book.
The book discusses
the consequences of
violence against children,
gives an update on the
UN Study on Violence
against Children and
advice on how to act
to promote the
protection of children.
download
3 Protect the
Children!
This book is for frontline workers such as
teachers, nurses, people
working in shelter
homes and institutions,
members of protection
committees and social
workers - all those in
direct contact with
children, including
parents. The book is
easy to read and gives
a background for
understanding the
child and practical
advice on how to
support the child.
download
4 Safe You and
Safe Me
This book is for
children from 7 years
and upwards to learn
about the types of
violence faced by
children around the
world, and gives ideas
on how they can
protect themselves.
The book encourages
children to ask
questions and state
their opinions.
download
5 Equal you and
Equal Me
Through this book
children from 7 years
can learn about the
types of discrimination
they may face in their
day to day life and
the many forms of
discrimination faced
by other children
throughout the world.
download
6 Listendoll
Storybook
This is an illustrated
storybook for children
aged 4 and up who have
suffered trauma and a
difficult life situation. It
is the story of a doll
who faces a terrible
wind that blows her life
apart. She is taken by a
wise bird to the forest
where the trees tell her
a secret. “Bad things
happen, they just do, but
you are still you.” They
teach her to listen in a
new way that gives her
strength and perspective.
download
http://sca.savethechildren.se/sca/Publications/Listen-and-Act/
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Rädda Barnen
Save the Children
Listen and Act
Children have the right to be cared for and protected. Save the Children has therefore developed material for children to know their rights - and for child
rights and frontline workers to know about child development and how to encourage, care for and protect children.
1.) Do’s and Dont’s for all ages
This is a package of three posters. One is intended to provide adults with the do’s and don’ts for protecting children and respecting their
rights. The remaining two posters send the message to children that violence is not ok, and provides them with practical do’s and don’ts for
dealing with violence.
Download Poster- Protect our Children
Download Poster- VIolence is not OK- Vs.1
Download Poster- Violence is Not OK Vs.2
2.) Listen, Learning and Acting
Staff in Save the Children and child rights workers wanting to know more about relevant measures to protect children will benefit from
reading and using this book. The book discusses the consequences of violence against children, gives an update on the UN Study on
Violence against Children and advice on how to act to promote the protection of children.
Download
3.) Protect the Children!
This book is for frontline workers such as teachers, nurses, people working in shelter homes and institutions,
members of protection committees and social workers - all those in direct contact with children, including
parents. The book is easy to read and gives a background for understanding the child and practical advice on
how to support the child.
Download
4.) Listendoll Storybook
This is an illustrated storybook for children aged 4 and up who have suffered trauma and a difficult life situation. It is the story of a doll who
faces a terrible wind that blows her life apart. She is taken by a wise bird to the forest where the trees tell her a secret. “Bad things happen,
they just do, but you are still you.” They teach her to listen in a new way that gives her strength and perspective.
Download
5.) Safe You and Safe Me
http://sca.savethechildren.se/sca/Publications/Listen-and-Act/ (1 de 2)21/09/2009 10:25:06
http://sca.savethechildren.se/sca/Publications/Listen-and-Act/
This book is for children from 7 years and upwards to learn about the types of violence faced by children around
the world, and gives ideas on how they can protect themselves. The book encourages children to ask questions
and state their opinions.
Download
6.) Equal you and Equal Me
Through this book children from 7 years can learn about the types of discrimination
they may face in their day to day life and the many forms of discrimination faced by
other children throughout the world.
Download
Save the Children Sweden
Regional Office for South and Central Asia
Tel: +977-1-5531928/9
Fax: +977-1-5527266
rosca@sca.savethechildren.se
http://sca.savethechildren.se/sca/Publications/Listen-and-Act/ (2 de 2)21/09/2009 10:25:06
.
A Save the Children
contribution to the United
Nations Secretary-General’s
Study on Violence against
Children
Save the Children fights for children's rights.
We deliver immediate and lasting improvements to children's lives worldwide.
Save the Children works for:
z a world which respects and values each child
z a world which listens to children and learns
z a world where all children have hope and opportunity
ISBN 13: 978-91-7321-227-4
ISBN 10: 91-7321-227-X
Code no: 3360
© 2006 Save the Children
Project Leader:
Written by:
Contributors:
Lena Karlsson
Ravi Karkara, Fahmida Shoma Jabeen, Neha Bhandari
Alana Kapell, Clare Feinstein, Elkane Mooh, Elizabeth Jareg,
Rasa Sekulovic, Sofia Hildebrand and Turid Heiberg
Production Management: Neha Bhandari
Copy-edit:
Liz Kwast and Ragnee Bath
Illustrations:
Sanjay Madnani
Design & Printing:
Format Printing Press, Nepal
Published by:
Save the Children Sweden
This publication is financed by the Oak Foundation, SIDA and the Norwegian Government.
Save the Children Sweden
SE-107 88 Stockholm
Tel: +46-8-698 90 00
Fax: +46-8-698 90 10
info@rb.se
www.rb.se
THIS BOOK BELONGS TO
Name: ................................................
School: ...............................................
..............................................................
Grade/Year: ......................................
ABOUT MYSELF…
My favourite colour ...............................................................................
My favourite animal ...............................................................................
My favourite food .................................................................................
My favourite music ..............................................................................
What I like doing best ........................................................................
2
3
Message from
Save the Children Sweden's
Secretary-General
For Save the Children, it is very important that all children
in the world are safe and able to live a life without any
kind of hurt or violence. For this reason Save the Children
has been an important partner in the United Nations
Secretary-General’s Study on Violence against Children.
(known as the Study, from here on.)
Save the Children believes that children and young people
know best about themselves. So it is important to ask
them what they feel and think. This is why we worked
together with children and young people from all over
the world on the Study. We would like to thank all of
them as well.
The Study looked at how children and young people face
violence all over the world and what can be done to stop
it. You will learn more about the Study as you read on.
Save the Children also believes that children and young
people can help to keep themselves and others safe. This
can happen better when you know enough about violence.
That is why we have written this book, especially for those
of you between 7-12 years of age. But other people can
read it too. We really hope you find this book useful. As
you read on you will learn many things about violence and
also what you can do to protect yourself and other children.
A special thank to Prof Paulo Pinheiro and to the
Secretariat of the United Nations Secretary-General’s
Study on Violence aganist Children for the work they are
doing to end violence aganist children.
Many people in Save the Children, all over the world have
worked hard on stopping violence against
children. I would especially like to thank
Save the Children's Global Task
Group on Violence against Children
and Save the Children’s Regional and
National Focal Points from all over
the world.
So read on and be safe!
Charlotte Petri Gornitzka
Secretary-General
Save the Children Sweden
3
4
Thank You Friends!
I would like to thank all our friends who have helped us
to put this book together. A big thank you to Ravi Karkara,
Fahmida Shoma Jabeen and Neha Bhandari for writing
this book. Thank you to Alana Kapell, Clare Feinstein,
Elkane Mooh, Liz Kwast, Elizabeth Jareg, Rasa
Sekulovic, Sofia Hildebrand and Turid Heiberg
who helped us make this book better.
Thank you to the Oak Foundation, SIDA
(Swedish International Development
Cooperation Agency) and the Norwegian
Government for giving us money to make
this book.Thank you to the team of Tulir, a group
that works in India to protect children from
sexual abuse, for helping us with the section
'Things you can do to keep safe.'
A special thank you to Sanjay Madnani for the drawings in
this book and to Format Printing Press for designing and
printing this book.
And of course, how can I forget all my special young
friends all over the world who have inspired us to
write this book in the first place.
After you have read this book we would
like you to tell us what you think of it.There
is a form at the back of the book, which
you can fill in together with a grown-up and
send it to us. We would love to hear from you. It will
help us make this book better.
Lena Karlsson
Chair of Save the Children's Global Task Group on
Violence against Children
5
Notes for parents, teachers,
caregivers and other grown-ups
who work with younger children
This book is especially written for girls and boys between
the ages of 7 and 12 years. Older children, adolescents
and grown-ups can also benefit from this book.
This book is not meant to equip children with personal
safety skills to prevent abuse from happening to them.
But it can help children to learn about the types of violence
faced by children throughout the world and give them
some ideas on how they can protect themselves from
violence.
The subject is very sensitive. Working with younger
children on this issue should be approached very carefully.
It is important that the explanations and the messages
you give to children about violence are appropriate to
their age and development. Discussing violence with a
7-year-old child will be quite different from discussing it
with a 14-year-old child. Encourage children to ask
questions and state their opinions.
6
Let the child read each section or the whole book
depending on the time available and the child’s
development stage. Once he/she has finished reading, you
can start discussing some of the issues raised.
Some of the terms might be difficult to understand, so it
is important that you, as an adult, are there to explain
some of the confusing terms.
There are open-ended questions throughout the book,
which can help the child explore the subject further.
Adults helping children to read and understand
this book may wish to ask questions, but it is
important not to force anyone to speak if they
don’t wish to.
7
HURRAY!
WE START HERE
8
I have the right to live without
any kind of violence…
… I have the responsibility to
make sure I don't hurt
others
9
Hello girls and boys all over the world. This
book is for you. If you are a grown-up you
can also read this book. It is about violence
against children.
Violence is when someone hurts you and
makes you feel bad on purpose. If you are
being hurt, or know someone who is being
hurt, this book will help you.
Read this book with a parent, teacher or a
grown-up you trust. They can help you to
understand the subject better and help you
to learn new words.
This is what you will learn in this book:
THINGS TO KNOW
• What is violence against children?
• What is the UN Convention on the Rights
of the Child?
• What is the UN Study on Violence against
Children?
• What did the UN Study find out?
CHILDREN'S IDEAS
Here you can learn about children's ideas for
ending violence against girls and boys.
CHILDREN'S ACTIONS
Here you can read what other children are
doing to stop violence against children.
THINGS YOU CAN DO TO
STAY SAFE
Here you can find some ways to keep yourself
and other children safe.
10
What is Violence against Children?
Violence is when someone hurts you and
makes you feel bad on purpose. It means
hurting someone's body or feelings. Even
when someone says they will hurt you,
it is violence. Violence is also when
people hurt themselves on purpose.
There are many ways in which girls
and boys all over the world face
violence. Sometimes girls and boys
are beaten, shouted at, or locked
away. At times, girls and boys are
touched in ways that they don’t like,
which makes them feel bad and
uncomfortable. As you read on, you
will learn more about this.
You must remember that most
grown-ups love you and do not want
to make you feel uncomfortable.
Violence is
NOT OK!
11
OK OR NOT OK?
Can you tell which of the following actions are violence against children?
If you think the action is OK, put a 9 on the face. If you think the action is not OK
put a X on the face.
Father hugging his daughter.
Mother hitting her daughter for
spilling milk on the carpet.
An uncle showing his nephew
pictures of women without any
clothes on.
Father beating his son to punish
him.
Your neighbour shouting all the
time at the girl who works in
their house.
An older boy pushing a little boy
from his seat at the school
canteen.
A young boy is put in prison and
beaten by the police because he
stole fruit in the market.
Father reading to his child.
A teacher calling a student
'stupid' for forgetting her
homework.
A neighbour touching you in a
way that makes you feel
uncomfortable and uneasy.
Can you think of any other
examples of violence
against children?
12
What is the
United Nations?
The leaders of our countries have
promised to keep children safe and
healthy.These leaders are members
of the United Nations (UN). The
UN is an organisation (kind of a
club) where leaders from nearly
all the countries of the world
meet and talk about ways to
make the world a safe place.
They also want to make the
lives of all grown-ups and
children better.
What is the United
Nations Convention on
the Rights of the Child?
World leaders believe that children are special and
have a special place in this world. So they met in
1989 at the United Nations building in New
York and wrote a document called the UN
Convention on the Rights of the Child
(UNCRC). This document says that
children have important rights.
13
Do you know your rights?
Your rights are what you must have and what people
responsible for you have to do for you. They should
all make sure you are happy, safe, healthy, able to
study and speak up about things which are important
to you.
You have these rights, whoever you are, whoever
your parents are, whatever the colour of your skin,
whatever religion you belong to, whatever language
You have rights,
but you also have
responsibilities.
you speak, whether you have a disability or not, whether
you are rich or poor or whether you are a girl or a boy.
Nearly all the countries in the world have signed this
document. This means they have promised to do
everything they can, to make sure that all children will
enjoy their rights.
14
There is a part in the UNCRC (grown-ups call
it Article 19) that says that no one should hurt
you in any way. Parents or others who are
supposed to take care of you, do not have the
right to hurt you and treat you badly.
Your government, parents and other grownups should make sure that you are safe from
violence. You should be able to get help when
you are hurt or treated badly by someone.
Did you know?
In 1919 itself, Eglantyne Jebb, the
founder of Save the Children, said
that children should have special
rights. That is 87 years ago. Save
the Children still works for children’s
rights, to make children's lives
better.
15
The United Nations
Secretary-General’s Study
on Violence against Children
The United Nations (UN) has asked Prof Paulo Pinheiro,
to find out why so many children all over the world are
being hurt and treated badly. This is called the United
Nations Secretary-General’s Study on Violence against
Children.
A non-governmental organisation is a
group of people who work to make the
lives of people (children and grown-ups)
better. They do not work for the
government.
Sometimes they also work to take care
of forests, seas and lakes.
The Study looked at places where violence against
children happens. These are; at homes, in schools, in
places where children live without their parents, in
places where they work and in their neighbourhoods.
The Study also looked at violence against children who
get into trouble with the police.
The Study also looked for ideas on how violence against
children can be stopped and how grown-ups, children,
governments and non-governmental organisations can
help children who face violence in their daily lives.
16
Many girls and boys from all over the world have been
part of this Study. Children have talked about the kinds
of violence they know about.
Girls and boys explained that it is important to do things
together with grown-ups to prevent and stop violence
against children.
No talking about
us without us.
This was said by a group of children who took part in a meeting for the UN
Study on Violence against Children in North America. The meeting took
place in Toronto, Canada, on 3rd June, 2006i.
i
Regional Consultation for the UN Secretary-General's Study on Violence against Children in North America
17
If you want to know more about the Study, you can look at the
following websites, books and film:
www.violencestudy.org
www.rb.se/eng
www.crin.org
www.unicef.org
United Nations Secretary-General's Study on Violence against
Children: Adapted for Children and Young People
Our Right to Be Protected from Violence: Activities for Learning
and Taking Action for Children and Young People
Film: ACTION: Children's Actions to end Violence against Children
If you do not have the internet, get in touch with Save the Children
or UNICEF office in your country and ask them for these books
and the film.
18
What did the Study find out?
The people who took part in the Study learned about
many kinds of violence children see and feel everyday.
Physical Punishment
Mothers, fathers, other family members,
teachers and other grown-ups who are
supposed to take care of children often
punish children in a way that hurts their
body and also their feelings.
ii
"Children Say NO! To Violence", A brochure, Save the Children Romania, 2005
I really get angry
when I hear
people saying 'If
your mother hits
you, this will help
you grow up'.
A boy from Romaniaii
19
For example,
• Hitting, throwing, kicking, choking, or shaking a child,
• Beating a child with a belt, cane or wooden spoon,
• Burning a child with a match, cigarette, or hot water,
• Locking a child in a closet or in a dark room,
• Pulling a child's hair.
Can you think of any
other ways in which
children are physically
punished?
Do you think physical
punishment is the only way
to tell a child, what he/she
did was wrong?
20
Verbal Abuse
Some grown-ups think physically punishing a child
is alright to correct a child's behaviour
(disciplining).
Verbal abuse is when someone uses words to hurt
children’s feelings or to control them.
Some examples of verbal abuse are:
• Yelling or shouting,
BUT THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!!
Physically punishing a child can make a child
think badly about himself or herself. They think,
"I'm naughty and bad, so that's why mummy is
hitting me; it's my fault".
It may also makes a child afraid of the person
who punishes him or her.
It can also make children think it is alright
for them to hit and hurt others.
• Calling the child stupid, ugly or other bad names,
• Saying to the child that no one loves him or her,
• Threatening a child,
• Blaming a child.
#!
These kinds of things can make you feel
bad and very small, especially when it is
said by someone you love!
21
MATCH THE FACE
Can you match the sentence to the face. How would you feel if someone said to you…
"You are
clever."
"You are no good to
us because you have
only one hand."
"I liked the
way you drew
that picture."
"If you tell someone
about our secret, I
will lock you in the
garage forever."
"You never
do anything
right."
"Thank you for
helping out. You
are very helpful."
22
Neglect
When parents, family members, teachers
and other grown-ups, don't show children
love and care, it is known as neglect.
Some examples of neglect are:
• Not speaking with a child or answering his or
her questions,
• Leaving a child alone for a long time,
• Not giving enough food to a child.
Can you think of other
ways in which children
are neglected?
23
Sexual Abuse (Sexual Violence)
Sexual abuse is a kind of touch or behaviour that makes
children feel uncomfortable and bad.
Some examples of sexual abuse are:
• Touching a child’s private parts. These are parts of the
body which we do not normally show to other
people,
• Making a child touch his or her private parts or
someone else's private parts,
• Having sex with a child,
• Showing a child magazines or films which show pictures
of people with little or no clothes on,
• Telling a child 'dirty' stories or 'dirty' jokes.
24
Often, people do not like to talk about sexual abuse
or sexual violence. They want to hide it and keep
it a secret because they are ashamed. Most sexual
abuse of girls and boys is done by people they
know and trust.
What would you do if a friend
tells you that he or she has been
sexually abused?
The last part of this book tells
you how to keep yourself safe!
25
FIND THE WORD
Why don’t you try filling in the blanks below? There are letters at the end of each sentence which are
mixed up. Try and make words with them to complete the sentence.
For example,
It is not your ______________ if someone sexually abuses you. (A T U F L)
So the answer will be,
It is not your FAULT if someone sexually abuses you.
1. I have the right to be ______________ (E S F A)
2. You have the ______________ to say NO (I T H R G)
3. It is ______________ too late to tell (V E N E R)
4. Tell someone you ______________ (R T U S T)
5. Your ______________ belongs to you (Y D B O)
26
Bullying
Bullying is when a child or a group of children threaten,
humiliate or harm another chilld or children on purpose.
Bullies are usually children who try to frighten those
children who are weaker and smaller than them.
Some examples of bullying are:
• Making fun of somebody,
• Chasing younger kids away from play areas, canteens,
or seats,
• Kicking, pinching and threatening
another child or children.
Bullying can happen in school, on the way
to school, in the playground, out on the
street and at other places.
Can you think of any
other ways in which girls
and boys are bullied?
27
Violence against children who
get into trouble with the
police and the law
Girls and boys who misbehave can be arrested by the
police and locked in prison or put in children's homes.
Sometimes police arrest children, just because they are
poor, for reasons like stealing fruit from the market or
selling something on the street.
These are some examples of how girls and boys are hurt
after they get into trouble with the police:
• In many countries children are kept with grown-up
prisoners who may physically, mentally or sexually hurt
them.
• Sometimes they are beaten up by the police or prison
guards.
• In some places child prisoners are kept in dirty prison cells
where there is very little room for them.
• Often they do not get the chance to learn and play.
Instead of putting children in prison, children should be
helped to understand, that what they did was wrong. They
must be helped to solve their problems. The police and jail
guards must make sure that no harm happens to the
children. They must know about children’s rights.
28
Children's Ideas
As part of the UN Study on Violence against
Children, girls and boys took part in meetings
all over the world. In these meetings, girls,
boys and grown-ups were asked what
can be done to stop violence aganist
children.
Children's ideas to stop physical punishment
and verbal abuse
• Stop physical punishment and verbal abuse by
making laws.
• Teach grown-ups to bring up children without
hurting them.
• Grown-ups should respect children and behave
nicely with them.
29
CHILDREN ALSO SAID, THEY
WOULD LIKE TO BE INVOLVED
WHEN ADULTS PLAN AND TAKE
ACTIONS AGAINST VIOLENCE.
Children's ideas to stop sexual abuse
• Grown-ups who sexually abuse children should be
punished.
• There should be telephone numbers which children
can call, to talk freely about sexual abuse.
• There should be places where children can report
sexual abuse and get help.
• Teach children how to be safe from a very early age like through this book.
30
Children's Ideas to stop
Violence against Children
in places where it happens
most often
As you read on, you will learn what girls and boys have
said about stopping violence in the following places:
Children's ideas to end violence in homes and
families
HOMES
• Mothers and fathers should listen to us and take us
seriously.
SCHOOLS
CHILDREN'S HOMES (These are homes for children who
are not living with their mother or father, such as prisons
and orphanages)
PLACES WHERE CHILDREN WORK
NEIGHBOURHOOD and STREETS
• Teach mothers and fathers about how to bring us up
without being violent. Explain to us when we do
something wrong and guide us to behave better.
31
Children's ideas to end violence in schools
Children's ideas to end violence in places
where they work
• Teachers should teach, in ways so that children can
easily understand and enjoy learning.
• Punish people who make child workers work very hard.
• Teach children about their rights and responsibilities.
• Help working children to go to school and learn.
• Grown-ups in schools should help children who have
been abused.
• Employers should take care of child workers health
and they should not hurt them.
• Children should not work in dangerous places.
Children's ideas to end violence in children's
homes
• Do not treat children who get
into trouble with the
police as thieves.
• Do not keep girls and
boys in prisons.
• Children who are
misbehaving should be
helped to change their behaviour.
Children's ideas on how to stop violence in their
neighbourhoods and streets
• Grown-ups should help children to form clubs or groups.
This will keep many children away from
violence.
• Children need to know where they
can get help when they see violence
in their neighbourhood or on the
street.
32
Children's Actions
When we see violence we
shouldn't say we can't do
anything. We can do something
and we should do something.
We will tell you about some of the things that girls and
boys, all over the world, are doing to stop violence against
them. Many girls and boys in different parts
of the world have set up groups, to stop
violence.
A group of older girls and boys in Hong Kong are
talking with other children and grown-ups about
violence in homes.
In Yemen, children and grown-ups, met with the
police. They told the police that children should
not be locked up in police stations.
A girl from Macedoniaiii. Macedonia is a country in SouthEast Europe
Girls and boys in Nicaragua and
Bangladesh made television shows to let
people know about physical punishment and
sexual abuse and how it hurts children.
Do you know that girls and boys in Romania,
celebrate a special day 'Day against Violence'
on 5 June every year? Isn't that cool?
iii
A one minute video made by young people under the OneMinutesJr
project, supported by UNICEF, the European Cultural Foundation and
the Sandberg Institute
Oops! We forgot to tell you where
these places are. Look for these places
in your atlas. You can ask a grown-up to help you.
Meet
ANNA’S STORY
Now we are going to tell you a
true story of how a group of
children were able to help a
friend who was sexually abused
by a teacher. This happened in
Zambia. Do you know where
Zambia is? Zambia is a country
in southern Africa.
Mr Ban
da
Anna
We have changed the names and made up the
conversations. But the story is true.
Why are you not coming to the
school club anymore, Anna?
Thandi
Chis
33
ala
Chisala, I just don't feel
like going there anymore.
l
oo
Sch cipal
Levy rin
P
You must come. We are going to talk about
children's participation this week. This means that
when we make suggestions about important
things in our lives, grown-ups have to listen to us
and take what we say seriously......
You must come.
No, I am not
coming.
Chisala talks about Anna with other girls of the school club.
You34
are a spoilsport. We need
your help.You don't even play with
us anymore. If you don't come to
the school club I will never talk to
you again.
Fine.
I am really worried about
Anna. She looks so sad
and lonely these days.
Fine.
Let's go and
talk to her.
I bet not.
I bet she is
in love.
What's wrong with
you Anna? You
don't come to the
club anymore.
Anna
talks
about
their
teacher
Mr
Banda,
who
teaches
them
children's
rights.
And you hardly ever
talk to us or play with
us. There must be
something wrong.
One day he called me into his
room and asked me to help him
clean his bookshelf. He first held
my shoulders and then he put
his hands under my blouse. I felt
so confused
and then
yucky.
35
35
Are you in love?
Another day he found me alone in
the school corridor after school.
He pushed me aside and touched
me under my clothes again.
I am your best
friend. How can I
No, Thandi. I thought
Chisala was not talking not talk to you?
to me anymore.
It is alright. We
understand you are
hurt. We will help you.
36
It is not your fault. My mother says
that if someone touches us in a way
that makes us feel uncomfortable, it
is not our fault......
After they heard Anna’s stories, other girls in the school also
talked about how Mr Banda touched them in a bad way.
His touch makes me feel
so uncomfortable.
He keeps on touching me
in a bad way even after
I say NO.
His touch makes me feel
yuck and scared.
The girls go to
the principal
and tell him
their stories.
The principal
listens. He is
shocked.
......We must tell someone
we can trust so that they
can help us.
The
teacher is
called to
the office.
37
Mr Banda pretends to look confused.
I didn't do it. These girls
are lying. They are
making up stories.
We believe our friends and
not you. We will not let you
hurt our friends anymore.
We are not afraid of
you anymore.
That's right Levy.
We believe you, children.
Mr Banda is taken away
by the police.
Thank you girls and boys for speaking
out. It is important to tell us when
someone is
hurting you, so
that we can
protect you.
38 38
PREETI’S
STORY
Here is another
story of how a
group of boys use
plays, songs and
games to end
early marriage of
young girls in
their
neighbourhoods
in Indiaiv.
Cool. Who is the
unlucky guy?
iv
a
Min
Preeti
Preeti is getting
married!!
u
Raj
it
Roh
Raju, don't be mean. My mum
said that Preeti is only 12years-old and she
is too young to
get married.
This is a children's group in Gorakhpur, India, supported by MASVAW.
I thought weddings were fun. Nice
food, lots of people wearing nice
clothes. She will wear new clothes
and lots of
jewellery.......
......Hey, I might get
new clothes too.
39
And do you know what
will happen to her?
She will have a cute
baby and the baby will
call me Uncle Raju.
Hey, I am too young to
take care of a wife and a
child. Besides, I want to
study. I have many years left
to finish
school.......
Raju, you are 12years-old, so why don't
you get married?......
......I want to play
in the fields, in the
river, and climb
trees.You don't see
married guys doing that,
do you?
......You can wear beautiful
wedding clothes and your
baby will call you Dad.
And Preeti isn't she too young? What
makes you think she doesn't want to
finish her school?
You think she
doesn't want to
play with her
friends?
She is not allowed to play
with us anymore. She has
to cook, clean, help her
husband's family around
the house, carry water
from the river, and
do much more
work.
40
Do you remember
what happened to
Seema after she got
married?
Gee, I
never
thought of
it that way.
Where has she
disappeared? She doesn't
play with us anymore.
She is not even allowed
to go to school and she
will be beaten if she ever
talks to boys.
Why don't
you tell your
dear friend
Raju about
the beatings
she gets
from her
husband and
his family?
Seema's family could not give
the amount of dowry demanded
by her husband's family, so they
often beat her.
What is dowry?
A dowry is money or gifts that the bride's
family gives to the groom's family. If the
police find out that the groom's family
took money from Seema's family, her
husband will go to jail.
Then we must stop
this marriage.
How?
I know this group of boys in Gorakhpur
who make plays, songs and games to
let people in the neighbourhood know
about early marriage, dowry and other
forms of violence against girls.
Sometimes they ask girls and people in
their neighbourhood to join in with
them.
41
Let's do this!
In this way, they make people know that it is
not right to get children married at a young age.
These girls and boys are right. I
think we should listen to them
and stop this marriage. Let
Preeti finish her school and
enjoy being a young girl. Her
mind and
body are
not yet
ready for
marriage.
The following day,
Mina, Rohit and
Raju meet the boys
in Gorakhpur. The
boys are very happy
to help them. They
play and sing in
front of Preeti's
family. Mina, Rohit
and Raju also take
part in the
programme.
The parents
and other
family members
of Preeti are
grateful to the
boys group and
to Preeti's
friends for
making them
stop the
marriage.
Preeti, you can go back to
your school. We will not talk
about marriage until
you are at least
18-years-old.
42
Things you can
do to stay safe
This part of the book will help you
to protect yourself and other
children from violence.
Things you must
remember
If anybody hurts you, IT IS NOT
YOUR FAULT.
YOU ARE A SPECIAL PERSON.
YOU HAVE RIGHTS.
You have the right to be healthy,
to study, to play and to be safe
from violence.
43
What you can do to help
protect yourself and other
children from violence
Say “NO”
You have the right to say "NO" to anyone who tries to
touch you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable
or afraid.
Some secrets should never be kept
There are some secrets you should never keep, even if
you promised not to tell. No bully should ask you to keep
the bullying a secret.
Often, people who do bad things to children tell the child
that they must not tell what happened to anybody. They
know they have done something wrong and they are afraid
of getting punished.
Hugs and kisses are nice, especially from people we like.
But no one should ask you to keep a kiss, hug or touch a
secret. The grown-up may say that 'it is our little secret'. If
anyone says that to you, even if you know that person, tell
a grown-up you trust.
44
Your body belongs to you
Learn the names of your body parts and try to learn the
difference between 'good touch' and 'bad touch'. No one
should touch you in ways or places that make you feel
bad. You should also not touch anyone else in ways that
will make them feel uncomfortable or bad. Talk to grownups you trust, whenever you are not sure about someone
else's touch or behaviour.
Run or get away
If a stranger, or someone you know tries to harm you,
run and get away. Get help. Make sure you always run
towards places where there are more people.
Yell
It is alright to yell and shout if someone is trying to hurt
you. You should not feel embarrassed to yell and call for
help when you are in trouble.
Do not take gifts
Do not take any sweets, money or gifts from anyone
without telling your mum, dad or any other person who
takes care of you. It is usually alright to take gifts from
friends and family. But even some grown-ups, that you
know and trust, may give you gifts and money to trick
you into doing something wrong.
Tell someone
If you are being physically punished, verbally, sexually
abused or bullied, tell a
friend, a teacher, your
parents or any other
grown-up you trust. It
can be hard to do this.
If you feel you can't talk
about it, try to write a note
to your mum or dad
explaining how you
feel.
45
If you find it difficult to talk to your mum and dad about
the abuse then talk to someone you trust.
If your mum or dad or teacher is the abuser talk to anyone
you can trust like a grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin or a
neighbour.
Learn about violence against children
Find out more about violence against children. You can
look on the internet, go to a library, or speak to teachers,
friends and other grown-ups you trust.
Call a child helpline
A child helpline is a free
telephone number that you
can call, to talk to
someone about any
problems you have. You
can also talk about
violence you or your
friends face. Find out the
child helpline number in
your area by asking grown-ups
you trust.
Keep emergency numbers
Always keep emergency telephone numbers with
you at all times, such as your mum and dad's, other
people who take care of you, police, doctor, trusted
friend, neighbour or a teacher's number.
Call a child helpline.
Call the police.
Do not keep it to yourself.
It is never too late to
tell someone.
46
Now that you have learnt about violence, you can help
yourself and other children to be safe.Tell other children
about the UN Study on Violence against Children and
about the other things you have learnt from this book.
Remember to tell a
grown-up if you are hurt.
Five things I have learnt from this book are:
Remember it is never your
fault, if someone hurts you.
1. ................................................................................
REMEMBER NO MATTER WHAT,
2. ................................................................................
3. ................................................................................
4. ................................................................................
5. ................................................................................
Don't let this book scare you. The
world has many kinds of people.There
are some people who might hurt you.
But most people are nice, loving
and want to take care of you.
VIOLENCE IS NOT OK!
47
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48
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You can mail this to:
Save the Children Sweden
Regional Office for South and Central Asia
GPO 5850, Lalitpur, Kathmandu, Nepal
Tel: +977-1-5531928/9
Fax: +977-1-5527266
Or if you have access to the internet you can send us
an email to tell us what you think about this book.
Write to neha@savethechildren.org.np,
nehab@sca.savethechildren.se and lena.karlsson@rb.se
Save the Children Sweden
SE-107 88 Stockholm
Tel: +46-8-698 90 00
Fax: +46-8-698 90 10
info@rb.se
www.rb.se
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